I once wrote a piece about a childhood memory in which I was grocery shopping with my mother (click the link to read), back when 2-liter soda bottles were made of glass. One slipped through my mother’s fingers and shattered; my mother slipped in the soda and was cut badly in several places. The memory represented how our vital connection allowed me to move from deep fear, uncertainty and chaos to absolute trust through an exchange in our eyes and the tone of my mother’s voice.

Imagine life transition like a glass soda bottle slipping from your mother’s hand in the grocery store when you were three, crashing to the floor in slow motion. The shards spread across the polished floor in an abstract pattern of red and brown liquid, a chaos of blood and soda. In the middle of that emotional noise, your mother’s eyes meet yours – calm, steady, unbroken, filled with the confidence of love…caring more about you than herself. In that moment you understand; the world might shatter around you, illusions implode, yet a quiet space of safety still exists, a bedrock within that does not crumble. This is where life transitions are survived, not by control or powering through, but by presence, and the courage to feel and trust the process.

Life transitions are the cosmic equivalent of that shattered soda bottle. Careers, relationships, health, identity can slip from our grasp unexpectedly. The floor seems unforgiving. The chaos is rude and loud. In the present, we have the potential to gather enough presence to navigate the shards, collecting fragments of our power, clarity and authentic self to gain ground; to feel more in control of life transitions than they are in control of us.

As I reflect on my own transitions, I ask myself through journaling / channeling what observances help me to navigate the unexpected challenges of life. Making sense of the process helps to reinforce it, to create structure at a time when things might feel out-of-bounds. Understanding this structure provides a support to return to again and again. Let me know if this speaks to you, if you have anything to add and how this resonates. I would love to hear from you on a deep and real level. Let’s connect.

Witness Your Own Chaos

Transitions shake us because they demand a confrontation with our illusions. Perhaps it is a story we told ourselves about who we are or the rigid structure of our identity that is suddenly fissured or simply derailed. The discomfort that arises is proportional to the strength of the attachment we held. That is to say, our level of pain is directly proportional to our level of attachment.

Hard stop.

Sit in it. Feel it. Witness your own reactions without judgement. Know that every reaction you experience is an OPPORTUNITY because reactions – all of them – are sourced deep within you to an original button – a key – and tracking that reaction to source is the key to your freedom. Did you know that some repeated buttons or triggers can be completely liberated? Reflect for a moment on your own “buttons” that are routinely activated…imagine if they were tracked, listened to, heard and understood, released and liberated to the point that you forgot they existed? You would both be happy (you, and your button that desperately wanted to be heard). This process is a fast-track, a short cut through feeling instead of a life-long pattern of avoidance.

Let the shards of shattered expectation and attachment dissolve into insight. What remains is raw presence; in the vacuum of release, insight follows and power is reclaimed on such a deep level that you realize THIS is a piece of me that can never be taken away. I OWN it.

Reclaim Sacred Ground

Just as a toddler integrates that her mother’s calm, amidst the chaos of blood and soda, is an anchor, we too must cultivate inner sanctuaries. Sadhana practice, retreats, solitude, nature, ritual, creativity through art actor any other space that guides you to YOU is a sacred ground, providing places and moments where we feel in control of nothing but our own attention and focus as connected to the divine. Showing up in this container may seem simple but is profound. You know when you are there, when you have found it. And when you do, you want to return. In the midst of life transitions, feed soul-level thirst with this sense of safety that chaos tries to temporarily steal.

The Company of Witness

When we are experiencing a lot, life transitions as eased when we are ready to share time with safe souls who see, hear and honor our experience. Not ones who like to bond on the level of the wound, but friends who are able to sit beside us while we are feeling, and don’t shy from the intensity (I can think of several in my world who have put wind in my sails more than they know). You will know who these people are – be prepared to be surprised at times, to become illuminated about who your true friends really are. Likely, they are the ones who have enough sense of self and have been around the block a few times themselves and understand the value of relationships and love. Recognizing these people is a priceless gift.

Community, friends, mentors, kindred spirits you have yet to meet act as mirrors reflecting your strength and resilience, not your brokenness. Retreats like Enjoy the Journey Retreats create containers where these witnesses exist naturally, offering reflection, insight, quiet and out loud reassurance that you are NOT alone in your chaos.

Move, Breathe, Feel

I know from personal experience that our bodies hold onto shock and grief long after our minds try to rationalize change. When my son passed away, I could barely move. My body would not function. After several months I heard to get on the yoga mat, even just to sit. Then I practiced. After several more months I heard that it was time to teach again. Yoga, pranayama (breathwork, control of prana – life force) walking and even standing barefoot on the earth (through all of the seasons) are acts of connection. These practices allow the nervous system to integrate what the mind cannot yet understand. When we pair movement with mindful observation, restlessness and uncertainty transform into flow, chaos into rhythm.

Embrace the Void

This is a big one. GORGEOUS. Transitions create a space where old identities and routines fall away. We resist this emptiness because we cling to what is familiar, mistaking the void for loss, failure or stagnation. This is a misinterpretation of opportunity! Within the void lies possibility, incubation of potential – fertile soil for reinvention, creativity, deeper connection and realization of self. Like the phoenix, we rise not by clinging to ashes but by dancing upon them like Kali Ma, weaving manifestation of a new life that has yet to be revealed to us. The divine feminine, the west place on the medicine wheel, are natural and inevitable bus stops in our journey of life over and over as we grow. She is the great mystery, asking us to go blind in our ego and dive deep into our intuitive guidance. When you find yourself in the west, let go of doing and become receptive. Feel, see internally, hear and if this feels blocked, PRAY intentionally for help. Our guides LOVE when we reach out. They love us!! They like attention, just as we do. Have faith, connect and pray.

Gather Tools of the Path

No one emerges from a life transition fully equipped without guidance. Retreats, meditation, yoga, journaling, coaching and other spiritual practices act as a compass in the storm. While it might take an act of will to bring ourselves to these actions when we are down and deep, they do help to organize, create clarity and movement of energy. They are not crutches – they are lamps lighting the shadows, revealing hidden strengths and critical insights. Tools like these allow us to navigate not only survival, but transformation.

Trust the Process

The hardest lessons are ALWAYS the most beautiful. The depth of our pain holds the potential for our rise and enlightenment. My personal belief is that this is part of the engineered order of our reality. What goes down must come up. What comes up, eventually grounds. But transformation cannot be rushed. Relax into this, with trust and patience because the process has its own intelligence.

Life may present upheaval after upheaval until we are ground down enough to surrender control and allow our higher self, our guides, to show us the way. Patience, trust, and radical presence are the KEYS. Each fragment of shattered expectation carries a gift; each tear, each trill of fear, moment of doubt is an invitation to deeper clarity and empowerment. Growth unfolds in its own timing, often invisible until we look back and see how far we have come.

A Closing Reflection

Transitions do not have to break us. If they did, I would be long gone. Transitions ask us to remember who we truly are and to create a pathway to reflect on the deeper purpose and meaning of our lives. We have this one life and vessel in this particular time; if we were at the threshold of the greater experience, of life beyond this vessel, how would we feel about the life we lived? Did we do our best? Did we listen to our needs and heart’s desire and if not, why? Do we really believe in the patterned obstacles that we invest personal power in to hold us back?

When we meet ourselves with courage to feel, understanding that the power is in the present and love is gathered there, we emerge (albeit slowly sometimes) not just intact, but luminous, filled with a deeper understanding of ourselves and our capacity for resilience.

Life is both the shards and the sanctuary. Show up. Witness. Feel Reclaim. Ultimately, trust that even in the shattered moments, love is waiting to be remembered and embodied, and you will find yourself there. Better yet, in community, because like community amplifies vibration and many hearts resonating impact us with extreme love, refilling the vessel.

Walk in beauty, live in love.
Christina